Howard Dean says the Republikan party is made up of white folks who’ve never held down an honest job

Now, folks all over the blogosphere are illegitimately flaming Dean. Illegitimately? Yes, illegitimately. He has some serious scholarship to back up this momentous claim. See:

Monsieur Zenith the Albino
by Anthony Skene, Michael Moorcock

So, back off, folks, or Dean will bring out the Big Guns. That’s right. He can always cite this Justice League documentary about the evil albino organized crime lord Steven Mandragora.

Now, while there’s no record on file conclusively proving Monsieur Zenith and Steven Mandragora are card-carrying Republikans, it seems self-evident: they are whiter than white and refuse to hold down honest jobs. Q.E.D.—they must be Republikans.

Given this level of logic and solid research, I think we can expect more brilliant observations from Dean in the future. Among future brilliant proclamations from Howard the Duck Dean are:

“George W. Bush is funnelling government funds to the Republikan National Committee by buying slaves it smuggles in from Africa to perform menial tasks in the White House and on his Crawford Ranch.”

“I am an African-american. Yeeaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!”

“America is drowning in red ink because of the Republikans. Only an heroic effort at lifesaving by Teddy Kennedy can save us!”

“Yes, it is true my wife and I have separated due to irreconcilable differences. On the other hand, Oprah has agreed to both become my wife and to be my running mate in the 2008 presidential race.”

This has been a Precision Guided Humor Assignment.

(Mostly crossposted at Cathouse Chat)

And yeh, I fixed the central problem with this post (I hadn’t actually read the assignment… :-).

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